This was on my calendar yesterday.
Laugh with your HAPPY friends when they are happy!
That's the Message Bible version of Romans 12:15,
which reads '
rejoice with those who rejoice...' in the ESV.
This immediately reminded me of something I shared with our ladies at a fellowship/Bible study last week.
Our topic was 'Thriving in Our Relationships.'
The quote I shared was this:
Pay close attention to those who don't clap when you win.
While I love the quote and know there's massive amounts of truth to it, it makes me sad.
It makes me especially sad then we see that kind of behavior from someone we call a friend ...
or a family member.
And it's so close to the scripture reference in Romans that we can clearly see that we are disobeying
God's Word when we act in this way.
We must then ask:
What causes this kind of behavior?
Why aren't people happy when we are happy ... or why don't our friends clap when we win?
Why don't we rejoice when our family or friends have something great happening in their lives?
I can only think of one answer & boy, it's a bad one ... a cruel one according to God's Word.
J E A L O U S Y
The Bible says in Song of Solomon 8:6 that '
jealousy is cruel as the grave;
the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.'
James 3:16 says: For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist,
there will be disorder and every vile practice.
There is nothing good that comes from a jealous spirit {cruelty, disorder, vileness}.
I want to avoid any and all of these TOXIC behaviors.
Jealousy is a relationship killer!
If you have the slightest suspicion that you have jealous tendencies, pull them out by the roots.
It often shows up as
selfishness ... thinking only about me, me, me.
...how this makes me feel, how this fits into my plan, why didn't I get that recognition,
why don't I ever get new things, everyone has a better life than I do.
Instead of rejoicing when others rejoice,
say when a friend or family member gets a promotion or buys a new car or new house,
we find ourselves
envious of their success or their things.
We immediately think of how it relates to us or how it makes us feel,
instead of just
being happy with our happy friends.
These are the people that aren't clapping when you win!
And what does this behavior say to God, the giver of all good things, the blesser, the provider?
God, I'm not happy that You've chosen to bless them.
I'm not happy that you are answering prayers for them.
When we can't rejoice when our friends are rejoicing, we are ultimately showing God that we don't like
that He has showered blessings on the lives of our family & friends.
So, if you see yourself in any of these descriptions & aren't sure how to change this destructive behavior,
let's look at some ways to
identify jealousy & to
get rid of it!
- Identify the situations that are triggering these toxic feelings
You are resentful of one who gets something new: car, house, job, jewelry, boat, etc...
Keeping up with the Joneses
When you see your family/friends succeed in any way, you feel inferior and question why it's not
happening in your life.
Counting other's blessings instead of your own
You feel upset when a friend spends time with someone besides you.
You constantly compare yourself or your life to others.
You can't admire someone elses beauty without questioning your own
- Counteract these toxic feelings by checking your heart through God's Word
Through earnest prayer, ask God to reveal to you your own heart.
Jealousy is a condition of the heart.
When we allow toxic behaviors & negative things into our
heart, they form our thoughts and attitudes.
And if these wrong things in our hearts go unattended, they will become
deeply rooted
and hard to deal with.
The quicker you can detect a
wrong heart condition and get it straightened out, the better off you
are.
Proverbs 4:23 Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
As Christians, checking our hearts needs to be a regular practice.
We can go through the motions and live our Christian lives, all the while, our heart is full
of toxic feelings and attitudes that are not pleasing to God.
These not only hurt ourselves, but everyone else around us.
And notice it doesn't say for anyone else to guard your heart.
It doesn't say God will guard your heart, or even your pastor will guard your heart.
It says
you need to guard your heart.
Psalm 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
Matthew 7:12 So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them...
Ultimately, acting right -- treating others right, goes back to one of the simplest principles of all time:
Treating others as you want to be treated yourself.
Doesn't get much plainer than that.
And when we operate with LOVE as our guiding force, it's easy to live out these scriptures in our life.
1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it his not arrogant.
John 13:35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
Life is not always happy.
In fact, it can be downright hard & frustrating at time.
That's what makes the happy days all the more appreciated.
And a true friendship, one not twinged with jealousy, can be such a sweet joy.
"Many might have failed beneath the bitterness of their trial had they not found a friend.
~Charles Spurgeon
Be the kind of friend that you want & need.
Be the friend who mirrors Jesus,
not the one encumbered with the baggage of the world's skewed thoughts and behaviors.
Be that friend who laughs with their happy friends when they are happy.
And just as a side note, social media hasn't done us any favors in regards to this topic.
We
can log on & look into the lives of our family & friends in an instant.
If we aren't careful, this can be a breeding ground for feelings of
envy, jealousy, and self-pity.
Instead though, use this as the perfect opportunity for you to be happy when your friends are happy!
